We become proud when we have good reason to think of ourselves as special. Pride is the emotion reflecting an increase in status, while shame reflects a decrease in status. Because status is often considered competitive and relative, expressing our pride carelessly or unjustifiably may offend others.

Definitions

1. Feeling good about yourself.
2. Satisfaction from our assessment of an increase in status
3. Approving of your own actions or accomplishments.
4. A sense of accomplishment.
5. Expression of competence.

Pride reflects an increase in status, not necessarily a high level of status. As a result, pride is inherently temporary.

Related Terms:

Many mental states are often confused with authentic pride. The confusion is generally related to a mismatch in an appraisal or projection of status with an objective appraisal of status. The mismatches are based on discrepancies in the following assessments:

• Authentic Status—An actual, authentic, and objective appraisal of status based on representative evidence.
• Self-esteem—What you believe about your status,
• Image—What others believe about your status.

We have many words that describe a variety of misalignments between authentic status, your estimate of your own status, and what others believe about your status. These represent counterfeit forms of pride. Several words are defined here in terms of these status appraisals.

• Hubris: Unrealistically high self-esteem; self-esteem exceeds authentic status. You appraise your status to be unrealistically high and reject evidence-based comparisons to authentic status. It is a failure to recognize your own defects. Synonyms include arrogance, conceit, egotism, narcissism, and vanity.
• Bluster: Projecting your status as higher than you believe it to be. Attempting to create an image that exceeds your self-esteem. Synonyms include false pride, immodesty, boasting, bragging, showing off, and know it all.
• Stubborn Pride: You are unsure of your actual status, so you hold fast to your position as an attempt to show strength. It can be manifest as a reluctance to apologize or take responsibility for your own actions. The likely cause is that your self-esteem is fragile or variable; you are insecure about your status because you are not confident your authentic status is high.  Synonyms include smug??,
• Humiliation: An image change reflecting a decrease in what others believe about your status. A public humiliation is the result of an insult and is generally painful enough to provoke anger. If you believe the insult is justified, then the humiliation may result in shame rather than anger.  Synonyms include losing face, feeling foolish, hurt, and disgraced.
• Humility: An quiet and sincere confidence that comes from a realistic appraisal of your status that recognizes you are doing well, while recognizing our shortcomings. It is an incentive to continue to learn, improve, and do more. Self esteem is aligned with authentic status and is judged to be satisfactory and with room for improvement.
• False Modesty: An insincere attempt to project an image of status lower than your self esteem or authentic status.
• Contempt: Feeling superior to others. Our self-esteem exceeds the image we hold of another.

These terms and their relationship to status appraisals are summarized in the following table:

Antidotes

Harmful mental states related to pride can be extinguished by appreciating the achievements of others, becoming aware of our own shortcomings, and working to increase genuine status.

Benefits and Dangers of Pride

Pride is an intrinsic reward for being good and doing well. It provides an incentive for working to increase status. People seek challenges to increase pride. Because status is so valuable, many counterfeit versions of pride have developed. These are discussed above.

The Paradox of Pride

Humility is essential for learning and learning is essential for continued personal growth. But pride is the result of that growth. Well adjusted people learn to move quickly and skillfully from pride to humility to continue their progress. Pride is considered one of the seven deadly sins, probably because of confusion with hubris, arrogance, vanity, narcissism, bluster, stubborn pride, or boasting. While we admire people with high status, we dislike braggarts.

Display Rules

Display rules guide us in making the distinction between what we are feeling and what we are sharing. Most of us learn not to express pride too effusively when others may be offended or challenged by it, or if we are expected to remain humble.

Nonverbal Expressions

Beaming; a form of prolonged smiling, often expresses pride.

Primal Messages

Pride sends the primal messages of: pleased, dominant, strong, approach, helpful

References

[laz] Passion and Reason: Making Sense of Our Emotions by Richard S. Lazarus, Bernice N. Lazarus

[Ekm] Emotions Revealed : Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life by Paul Ekman

[OCC] The Cognitive Structure of Emotions by Andrew Ortony, Gerald L. Clore, Allan Collins

[Gol] Destructive Emotions : A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama by Daniel Goleman

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values, by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Arun Gandhi