Trouble is brewing, but you are convinced it can all turn out well. You believe with all the depths of your being that things will get better. You have hope; and you are doing things to improve your future. You are fearing the worst but expecting the best. Hope is the antidote to the hopelessness of despair. Definitions The possibility that things will get better, The chance for improvement, A positive stance on the future Anticipation of future desirable event or outcome, Pleased about a prospective desirable event

Paths of Hope

Events that can trigger our hope are common occurrences. How we respond to these losses and the choices we make affect our peace of mind, well being, and our lives.  The following figure illustrates choices we have and paths we can take to sustain or dash our hope. Use this like your would any other map: 1) decide where you are now, 2) decide where you want to go, 3) choose the best path to get there, and 4) go down the chosen path.

This diagram is an example of a type of chart known by systems analysts as a "state transition diagram". Each colored elliptical bubble represents a "state of being" that represents the way you are now. The labels on the arrows represent actions or events and the arrows show paths into or out of each state. You are at one place on this chart for one particular interaction at any particular time. Other people are likely to be in other places on the chart. This is similar to an ordinary road map where you plot where you are now, while other people are at other places on the same map. Begin the analysis at the green "OK" bubble, or wherever else you believe you are now.

OK: This is the beginning or neutral state. It corresponds to someone who is feeling well. The green color represents safety, tranquility, equanimity, and growth potential.

Irrevocable loss: You recognize you have lost something valuable and that it is gone forever. You are sad.

Sad: You recognize an irrevocable loss. Perhaps you are crying or tearful. The yellow color represents the loss and pain.

Loss Accepted: When you can turn your thoughts to the future and leave the past behind, you have accepted the loss and can get on with your life.

Loss Denied: Protesting, denying, bargaining, and reliving the past all serve to deny the loss. You are living in the past and not ready to accept the loss. Grieving will continue.

Grieving: Grieving is the struggle to prevent the loss. It is our way of coping with loss and it may involve anger, anxiety, anguish, hope, or guilt. Once the protest and denial is over and the loss is accepted as irrevocable, then grief can turn into sadness and be resolved. Our focus shifts from the past to the future during bereavement. The orange color represents the agony, pain, duration, turmoil, and loss of the grieving period.

Loss Accepted, Future focus: You have decided it is time to get over it, accept the loss, and get on with your life.

Trouble Recognized: You become aware that you can lose something you value. You are worried and dread the possible loss.

Dread: You feel bad because you understand you may lose something. Depending on what it is you stand to lose, you may feel anxious, fear, anger, shame, guilt, envy, or jealousy. The yellow color represents the loss, anxiety, and uncertainty of the time.

Positive Outlook: Although you recognize a bad outcome is possible, you predict a favorable outcome and maintain hope.

Hope: You believe with all the depths of your being that things will get better. You have hope; and you are doing things to improve your future. You are fearing the worst but expecting the best. Hope is the antidote to the hopelessness of despair. The green color represents the positive outlook, while the yellow color represents the uncertainty and possible bad outcome.

Negative Outlook: You predict the worst, and you have lost hope. You become depressed.

Depression: You have lost hope, the future looks bleak, you are depressed and feel hopeless. The red color represents the prolonged pain of the depression.

Good Outcome: Regardless if you were dreading, hoping, or depressed, you were spared your worst fears and the actual outcome is good. You are relieved.

Relieved: The frustration has changed for the better, and you learn that what you dreaded will not happen, you feel relief. Everything is now much better, you relax and feel a sigh of relief. The green color represents the good outcome and buoyancy of the relief.

Time Passes: The sensation of relief is rather brief. Soon you are back to your ordinary self, looking toward the future.

Bad Outcome: Your fears have come true. Regardless if you were dreading, hoping, or depressed, the actual outcome is bad, and now you are sad.

False Hope

There is controversy over the concept of "false hope". If you hold out hope for something that is truly impossible, or so unlikely it is eventually impossible, you may be having false hope. Is this good or bad? To make the distinction, determine if your behavior is beneficial or not. As an example, deciding to spend your food money to play the lottery is almost certainly destructive and regrettable. The chances of winning the lottery are vanishingly small, and the need for food is certain. Here a "false hope" leads to a destructive behavior and is harmful. Another example is the decision of a high school student to abandon academic studies to concentrate on playing professional sports or becoming a rock musician. The odds against success are astronomical, yet the loss is certain. This is almost certainly a bad bet. However, if you have been diagnosed with terminal cancer, hope can give you peace of mind, relieve stress, and provide you the positive outlook and motivation that can lead to helpful actions including eating well, getting the recommended exercise, taking medications as instructed, seeking out the best care for yourself, peace of mind, and spending time in meaningful ways.

Most "con games" are based on creating false hopes. This includes most forms of gambling, sweepstakes, get rich quick schemes, risky investments, quack cures, promised miracles, hoaxes, urban legends,  mysticism, faith exploitations, and other scams. Many of these are manipulations that exploit distortions in our thinking. Examine the evidence, consider a variety of viewpoints, calculate the odds rationally, and approach such claims with extreme skepticism.

Maintain hope when there is some possibility of a good outcome. Take constructive and responsible action to improve your chances. Do not abdicate your responsibility for caution, skepticism, and action by submitting to unfounded optimism.  Plan for the worst as you anticipate the best.

Accurate assessment, sound judgment, constructive action, and personal responsibility mark the difference between hope and false hope.

The Keynote Address at the 2004 democratic national convention was an inspiring speech given by Barack Obama on "The Audacity of Hope" He described many examples where the undaunted strength of people overcame tremendous obstacles to achieve great things. Perhaps there is no false hope, but only hope. He has recently written book The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream.

Strive for an accurate optimism.

Quotations

• Never, never, never, never, never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill
• Hope is not a strategy

References

[laz] Passion and Reason: Making Sense of Our Emotions by Richard S. Lazarus, Bernice N. Lazarus

[Ekm] Emotions Revealed : Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life by Paul Ekman

[OCC] The Cognitive Structure of Emotions by Andrew Ortony, Gerald L. Clore, Allan Collins

[Gol] Destructive Emotions : A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama by Daniel Goleman