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Gratitude
Appreciating Altruism
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Someone has been kind to you and you feel gratitude for the help they have
given.
Definitions
- Appreciating an altruistic gift
Gracious Giving
A gift is given graciously only when:
- The gift fills a need of the recipient,
- It is given voluntarily and unconditionally, without obligation or
expectation,
- It is an act of kindness that goes beyond the duty or obligation of the
giver,
- It does not cause embarrassment or shame by
highlighting the need for help or limited competency of the receiver.
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If the gift is given for personal gain, or with an expecting of reciprocation
or future obligation, to feel self-important, or to alleviate guilt it is not a
gracious gift and the recipient may not feel gratitude. Dealing with the
relative status of the giver and receiver can become
important in gift giving. If the giver uses the gift presentation as an
opportunity to highlight or imply his higher status,
the receiver may feel patronized and embarrassed and become resentful. It can
become an uncomfortable form of dominance contest. |
Gracious Receiving
You can not feel grateful if the giver requires or expects you to feel
grateful. In this case the gift was not given unconditionally; it was given with
the expectation of receiving your gratitude in return. Being able to accept help
is an important learned social skill that depends on your ability to cope with
being in need.
Related Terms
Close synonyms include: feeling thankful, grateful, appreciative, beholden,
and feeling indebted.
References
[laz]
Passion and Reason: Making Sense of Our Emotions by Richard S.
Lazarus, Bernice N. Lazarus
[Ekm]
Emotions Revealed : Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve
Communication and Emotional Life by Paul Ekman
[OCC]
The
Cognitive Structure of Emotions by Andrew Ortony, Gerald L.
Clore, Allan Collins
[Gol]
Destructive Emotions : A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama
by Daniel Goleman
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Fear, Sadness, Anger, Joy, Surprise, Disgust, Contempt,
Anger, Envy, Jealousy, Fright, Anxiety, Guilt, Shame, Relief, Hope, Sadness, Depression, Happiness,
Pride, Love, Gratitude, Compassion,Aesthetic Experience,
Joy, Distress, Happy-for, Sorry-for, Resentment, Gloating, Pride, Shame, Admiration, Reproach,
Love, Hate, Hope, Fear, Satisfaction, Relief, Fears-confirmed, Disappointment, Gratification,
Gratitude, Anger, Remorse,
power, dominance, status, relationships |
